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Thoughts & Opinions

Got Facebook?

I was introduced to Facebook back in 2007 by my friends. They were from Canada and the only way I could keep in touch with them is through Facebook. I had never heard of it until then.

Six years later I’m still on it and am still friends with them.

But as I became more involve in Facebook, it’s all I hear about. Everywhere you look people are log onto it from their laptop or their smallest gadgets. Scrolling, browsing, tagging, updating and even unfriending someone is a daily ritual for most of us and majority of us cannot wait until the next time we log onto Facebook.

Our Facebook activities have become a major part of our daily activities.

I stayed at a hostel for a few years (that’s another topic altogether). I was surrounded by backpackers and other travelers’ day in, and day out. Everyone has Facebook… No surprise there! But what I realized is,  it’s become the only means of keeping in touch with others. Hardly anyone uses their email address even though we need an email address to have a Facebook account. Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those people.

“So what are you ranting on about?” You might ask. Well, read on.

I’m the first one to admit that I don’t find it exciting as I used to six years ago. The first year was a blast. The second year, I got the hang of it. The third year, it became a chore. The fourth year, it became a schedule. The fifth year and beyond…..well you’re about to read about it.

As I am writing this, I have about 37 friends. I have met them all. Prior to this I had hundreds. I was unfriended by some but I unfriended most of them. Why? Because I never heard from them ever again. They just became a number. A space on my wall and some just bore me to death or it didn’t feel like I had any chemistry with any of them. Besides, the only time I heard from most of them is that when I made the first attempt to writing to them, now I know what it mean when  people say ‘YOU keep in touch’!

I read somewhere that Facebook is about connecting with others in a fun way. I still agree to that! But in my opinion, users have turned Facebook into something else. We can easily spy on someone without being their friends. Judge our friends by their updates or photos. Know where they have been or who they are with without telling us and we can easily express what’s on our minds and no doubt nearly everyone spends hours on Facebook these days.

I’m not against Facebook and I don’t mean to downplay its usefulness. I just don’t find it exciting anymore. I’m not saying my friends list is boring and their updates are no concern of mine. I simply realized that I see more of them online rather than in person. When you see their updates and what they’ve been up to, you don’t bother calling to find out how they are because you already know and vice versa. Perhaps the next time you message them is on their birthday or when they have posted something stupidly funny, providing you didn’t miss it of course.

Last year, my dad passed away. I wasn’t sure if it’s a good idea to share the news but after much contemplation I broke the news. A few days later when I logged back in no one replied and no one messaged.

SILENCE WAS LONG. FOLLOWED BY SOMEWHAT DISAPPOINTMENT!

I took a deep breath and wondered. I was left speechless, puzzled and of course shocked. No one replied and no one bothered to know how I was doing. I checked my wall and inbox a few times just to be sure. I was still in shock. So I took a few more deep breaths before coming back to reality. I got over it very quickly, even though it still crosses my mind every now and then.

I shared it not to get sympathy but I thought this one deserved to be on my wall. After all, if I shared unimportant issues, why not the one that matter to me. I was lost for words as to why no one commented on it. However, one friend emailed me to send his/her condolences. That’s pretty much it. I was very disappointed that no one commented on my post when I needed it the most. But I didn’t take it personally. Perhaps, no one knows what to say. Perhaps, they missed it. Perhaps, they thought it was too late or perhaps they wanted to give me some space. Whatever the reason is, it doesn’t matter anymore. Like I said, I didn’t share it to get sympathy it just need to be said. That’s all there is to it.

I like Facebook and I’m still on it. In some ways it’s informative about my friends and others have shared more than they should have. That’s the other problem, because Facebook has become so open we think we won’t be judged by what we post or say, unfortunately this is isn’t so. I’ve heard many unfortunate events related to Facebook posts that’s why I refuse to add anyone I work with.

Possibly, Facebook is now the best way to keep in touch with others. Hardly anyone uses their own email address and a phone numbers usually come second. Just add the person’s name and once approved, you can find out more about the person on his page  than you can in person. We give away more of ourselves online than we do in person. We feel more open and outspoken in expressing ourselves. We feel that from ‘having a coffee with friends to couldn’t get a sleep last night due to neighbors dog endless barking’ deserve to be shared. Our status updates have become an online diary and let’s not forget the ‘share’ button!

I added a lot of people but end up unfriending them eventually. London is a nice place and every time I am there I like to do something different than I did on my previous trip. Rather than catching up with 20 people or more, in all honesty 4 friends are more than enough. America is an interesting place but with all the over-the-top airport security it’s at the bottom of my list at the moment and besides, I already know two people there. One living in Tennessee and one in Virginia. Germans are everywhere. They love to travel just like me but I stopped adding more long time ago. The Dutch. My best-friend lives in Rotterdam and every year I head to Europe I visit him as well as my friends in Leipzig and Nuremburg. It’s the only time I can see them. That’s why I prefer to spend most of my time with them rather than with someone new (if that ever happens). This sounds harsh and unfair but I add friends and not numbers and yes, it’s true, one never knows if you can be good friends or not unless both keep in touch. This is the decision I made not out of selfishness, but reality, because having so many online friends from different walks of life or different parts of the world can be a waste of time. I don’t live in Europe and I only travel to that continent once a year. At home, someone twice my age… I don’t think I’ll be going to the movies with that person anytime soon and we weren’t friends back in high school or didn’t speak to each other in person, what makes you think we’d do it online. Call me what you want and feel free to judge me but before you do, answer this. In the last year, when was the last time you saw those hundreds of friends of yours?

By the way, it’s been five months since I wrote this and as add this last note I have about 50 friends now.

‘I’ve made more friends on Facebook than in real life’

Thanks for reading.

 

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About Milan of Sydney

Just another blogger having a crack at this and see where it leads me..... I believe if you're good at something never be afraid to express it regardless of what people may say or think of you. Achieving what we want in life comes with a price and sacrifices doesn't come easily! When I write I feel someone listens and hears me. A conversation with myself, where thoughts, feelings and ideas and opinions are express. My inspirations are the people crosses path with, places I’ve been, writings I’ve read and most importantly from my own life experiences, obstacles and ups and down. So follow my blog, leave comments or suggestions because life is a lesson not just a journey. Thank you. Milan of Sydney

Discussion

6 thoughts on “Got Facebook?

  1. Im impressed, I must say. Really rarely do I encounter a blog thats both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your idea is outstanding; the issue is something that not enough people are speaking intelligently about. I am very happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to this.

    Posted by kidney impaired function | 14/07/2013, 3:11 am
  2. Just nice blog site. It was invaluable for me. Preserve sharing these kinds of ideas in the foreseeable future as well. This was actually things i was looking for, and i’m glad to be able to came right here! Thanks for discussing the similarly info with us

    Posted by owen | 17/07/2013, 12:51 am
  3. Sorry to hear the news of your dad, when my nan died a few months back, I found it easier to write about it on wordpress, but kept it quiet on facebook, always a tricky subject to discuss. I’m halfway through writing a piece about Facebook myself, and reading this has certainly given me pause for thought.

    Posted by Ben | 23/07/2013, 10:49 am
    • hi Ben, thanks for commenting. post/share your thoughts on FB and just because i didnt have good results with it that doesnt mean u wouldnt have to either. in the end, who cares if no one comments on it the main thing is that u wanted to share your thoughts to your friends and thats what i did, sadly no one replied back but it’s all good in the hood.

      Posted by Milan of Sydney | 23/07/2013, 1:26 pm

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