Lately I have been going through a lot of my stuff. I’m finding things I never knew I had. Those missing items I have been trying to find for years, just suddenly turn up. Clothes and shoes I bought many years ago are still unworn. Any unwanted items either get recycled, given away or straight to the bin. I have a few of the same things and what I thought I would need back then, I never really needed after all. Looking at everything all together has left me bewildered and surprised as to how much I have accumulated throughout the years. I was literally looking at my life!
Everything I owned I thought would be very useful to me. I thought I would use them all the time and not just a one -off. I bought things I thought I would use later on but ended up not doing so. I’m guilty of buying many things on sale. I must have this or that as I may never see anything better. Weeks later I would end up buying the same item, but much better model. I had 14 laptops. Now I’m down to only two. I buy cameras like I buy my evening meals. So now I’m going through everything over and over again and giving as much as I can to anyone who wants them. I can’t believe I wasted all this money on ‘this and that’. I could have save my earnings for something more rewarding. But you must make mistakes to learn from them.
I’m sure you can relate to my situation. I’m sure you have bought a few things only to find them filling the gaps in your cabinet draws. I’m sure you have spent a lot of money on something, that, in the end you asked yourself ‘Why did I buy this’? I’m sure that one is not enough and you must have ‘this or that’ as well. I’m pretty sure that you have a lot but are still not content with everything you have. I bet you can’t wait till the next pay day so you can buy that new pair of shoes you saw last week. While you’re at it why not pick up a new pair of jeans as well.
They say that as you grow older you mature more and value life even more. It must be true.
I regret buying a lot of clothes and shoes. I regret buying a lot of things I thought would still be valuable to me. I was wrong in buying many things and I wish now I had not done it. But it’s too late. It is not too late however, to not make the same mistakes again. There is nothing wrong with wanting more. It’s okay to want something much better and it’s human nature to want what someone has. It’s okay to yearn, to wish, to desire and hope for betting things in life either material or not. It’s normal to wish for everything which is good. But it’s also human nature to take many things for granted.
As I got through my items one by one I cannot help but realize how much energy and money I wasted on all these. I was looking at these things I called ‘happiness’ at that time. But now happiness does not consist of material things. I was wrong and foolish to believe that was what happiness looked like. It’s true, I’ve grown and matured (well that’s debatable) and I still have a long way to find out what true happiness looks like. I’m still growing and am far from being perfect. I’m learning to enjoy my life more now that ever before. I’m buying less and finding satisfaction in everything I have already. I’m appreciating things more than ever before (including the current weather condition). A wet rainy day is a good change from the scorching heat of summer days, and besides, we need those roofs clean. Life has become more meaningful for me. I still have bad days. But I have learned to look forward to better days. I wake up in the morning grateful for the smell of morning mist, thankful for the journey to and from work and that no accidents happen (even when the train are delayed). Problems at work still occur, but I focus on what I can do to solve the issues rather than toil over the problem itself. At the end of the day I praise myself for doing the best I can, and living my life the best way I can, one day at a time. I don’t feel guilty eating that chocolate anymore or missing any work-outs because I have learn not just to live in the world but to live with the world. If we don’t start enjoying our life now with everything we have then how can we enjoy what is to come.
So if you don’t mind me asking, what does your happiness look like? Does it cost too much? Would you like to share your stories and help us budget with ours?